You’re Not Broken — The Bridge Was Just Built for Someone Else

You’re not broken—the bridge was built for someone else. Learn to create strategies that fit your neurodivergent brain.

For most of our lives, we’re taught that success looks a certain way: stay organized, follow routines, stay focused, manage emotions, meet deadlines. These are the “bridges” we’re handed — built with strategies, systems, and expectations that are said to help us cross from intention to achievement.

But what happens when you step onto that bridge and it keeps breaking beneath you?

You try harder. You push. You self-criticize. You study how everyone else seems to walk so effortlessly across it. And when it keeps failing, the conclusion starts to turn inward:

“Something must be wrong with me.”

The bridge isn’t broken — it just wasn’t built for your brain

Here’s the truth: most of the strategies we’re taught — in school, in workplaces, in relationships — are designed for neurotypical brains.
They rely on consistent attention, predictable energy, linear thinking, and minimal sensory overwhelm.

But if you’re neurodivergent — ADHD, autistic, dyslexic, or wired differently in any way — your brain doesn’t operate by those same rules. You might process faster, feel deeper, get distracted more easily, or have a hundred creative ideas competing for attention all at once.

It’s not that you’re incapable. It’s that you’ve been trying to cross a bridge designed for someone else’s rhythm and structure.

And when that bridge collapses under your feet, it’s not proof that you’re broken — it’s proof that the bridge doesn’t fit.

The danger of internalizing “brokenness”

When we don’t realize this mismatch, we internalize failure. We start to believe our struggles are moral flaws instead of neurological differences. We might say things like:

“I just need more discipline.”
“If I really cared, I’d get it done.”
“Everyone else can manage — what’s wrong with me?”

But shame isn’t a motivator. It’s an anchor. It keeps you stuck on the edge of the bridge, afraid to try again because every attempt has felt like proof you can’t make it across.

Rebuilding the bridge

The healing begins when you shift the question from:

“Why can’t I do this?”
to
“What would make this work for me?”

That’s when you start designing strategies that honor your neurodivergent wiring — strategies that fit the way your brain works instead of fighting it.

Here are some examples of what that might look like:

Instead of relying on to-do lists that disappear in piles of paper, use a whiteboard or sticky notes you can physically move and see.
Instead of sitting still to focus, try walking while you brainstorm or using a standing desk to keep your body engaged.
Instead of forcing yourself to start tasks that feel impossible, try “micro-starting” — setting a timer for 5 minutes just to get your brain in motion.
Instead of relying on memory, use external supports like voice notes, visual reminders, or automated systems that reduce mental load.
Instead of trying to self-motivate in silence, use body doubling — working alongside someone else (even virtually) to activate your focus.
Instead of expecting your energy to stay the same all day, structure your schedule around your natural rhythms — creative work when you’re sharpest, routine tasks when your brain needs rest.

These aren’t “workarounds.” They’re the materials for a bridge that actually holds.

You were never the problem

Once you realize the bridge wasn’t built for you, the story changes.
You stop seeing yourself as a failure and start recognizing yourself as an engineer — someone capable of redesigning the path in a way that fits your mind, your energy, and your life.

You were never broken.
You were just trying to cross the wrong bridge.

Now, you get to build your own.

Curious about ADHD for yourself or a loved one?

If you’re curious about ADHD — or if you want something concrete to share with others — I’ve created a free ADHD Screening Toolkit. It includes two evidence-based screening tools that break ADHD down into symptoms and everyday struggles.

Many people who see these tools have that “oh wow, that’s actually ADHD” moment. It’s a simple way to paint a clearer picture of what ADHD really looks like.

👉 Access the FREE ADHD Screening Toolkit here!

Want More Support Like This?
If you found this helpful, I send out occasional emails with more posts like this, upcoming workshops, and new resources for ADHDers, self-healers, and helpers.

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