Grieving the Things I Can’t Do (Even When I Know Why)

Grieving missed plans and slower progress, while learning to honor my season, my limits, and what truly matters most.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a quiet kind of grief — not the big, dramatic kind, but the everyday ache that comes when I can’t do what I want to do.

It’s the sadness that comes with canceling plans with a friend, pressing pause on a business idea, or realizing that something I was excited about just doesn’t fit right now.

I’m in a season of life where my capacity is limited. Between homeschooling, parenting young kids, and running my practice, my time and energy are stretched thin. Things take longer, and even when I know I’m making the right choice, it still stings.

For someone like me, who loves to hyperfocus and create, slowing down can feel unnatural. I love getting lost in a project, cranking out ideas, and following inspiration wherever it leads. But I’ve learned that when I do that without being strategic, it often comes at a cost — my calm, my presence, and my connection with my family.

These days, I’m trying to work with my brain and with my season instead of fighting them.

Here’s what I’ve been learning:

  • Block off focused time. I know I do my best work when I can fully immerse myself, so I’m intentional about carving out that time — even if it means renting an office or AirBnB for a day just to record a training without distractions.

  • Set limits on the creative late nights. I love working after my kids go to bed, but my sense of time disappears completely. I’ve started setting a timer to remind myself to wrap up and head to bed.

  • Protect connection time. My husband and I have a weekly night just for us. Sometimes I’m in the middle of a PowerPoint or workshop prep and it’s hard to stop, but I remind myself why that night matters — because our connection is part of what keeps everything else steady.

And then there are moments that bring the grief right to the surface.

Like this week, when I had to cancel plans with a friend I adore. We’d talked about taking our kids to the zoo, but when I realized it would mean an hour and twenty-minute drive each way — on a Sunday — I knew it wasn’t the right choice. Sundays have become a transition day for our family, a time to slow down and get ready for the week.

I cried after sending the message to cancel. I wanted to see her. It’s hard to accept that I’m no longer in the season where I can just go and do — where my energy and schedule were my own. Now, every plan involves not just my time, but my kids’ needs, my own capacity, and the ripple effect on the week ahead.

That grief is real. But underneath it, I’m realizing it’s also love — love for my friends, for the parts of me I miss, and for the life I’m intentionally building.

I’m grateful for the friends who understand this season — the ones who offer grace, who know it’s not about not wanting to see them, but about needing to honor what this stage of life requires. Sometimes that means swapping the zoo for a FaceTime chat, and that’s okay.

This season asks for patience, boundaries, and compassion — for others, and for myself.
Things will take longer. I’ll have to say “not now” more often than I’d like.
But I’m learning that slowing down doesn’t mean I’m falling behind.
It means I’m living with intention — and protecting what matters most.


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