Parenting a Possibly Neurodivergent Child: Resources & Reflections from a Fellow Mom

Guidance and resources for parents exploring ADHD in their child—understand behaviors, seek support, and find next steps.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been noticing big emotions, low distress tolerance, or stubbornness in your child—and you’re wondering if they might be neurodivergent. First, take a deep breath. You’re not alone. I’ve been right where you are, and I know how overwhelming it can feel to navigate this new world of parenting through a different lens.

Understanding the “Why” Behind the Behavior

For many families (ours included), the journey began with simply wanting to understand why certain behaviors were showing up. Once we explored the possibility of ADHD, suddenly things started to make sense.

For example, what looked like “stubbornness” in my son—melting down when asked to switch from playing to brushing his teeth—actually turned out to be difficulty with task switching and emotional regulation, which are common challenges for kids with ADHD. Once I could see it through the ADHD lens, I could respond with empathy and strategies instead of frustration.

Step One: Talk with Your Child’s Pediatrician

Your first stop is your child’s pediatrician. They’ll likely ask you to complete the Vanderbilt Assessment, which screens for ADHD and related concerns.

🔗 Click here to access the Vanderbilt Assessment

Click here to access the Vanderbilt Scoring

Tips for filling it out:

When unsure between two numbers (like a 2 or 3), always choose the higher number.
Answer based on how your child behaves during tasks they don’t enjoy, not ones they love. Kids with ADHD can perform very differently when something is fun for them!

If your child identifies as female, I also recommend exploring the SASI (Self-Assessment Symptom Inventory). Click here to access the SASI. It’s designed specifically to reflect how ADHD often presents in girls and women.

📝 Important note: ADHD research historically focused on “little white hyperactive boys,” so diagnostic criteria can still be biased toward how ADHD shows up in boys. Girls often present more subtly, and can be overlooked.

How Diagnosis Looked for Our Family

We first met with a Developmental Pediatrics specialist when my oldest son was 5. He broke down treatment recommendations by age group:

Preschool to early elementary: Behavior modification and parenting support
Middle school: Consider medication as demands increase, plus therapy to help kids understand their own ADHD

For our youngest, we worked with our local pediatrician. Living in a rural area, providers there are encouraged to diagnose if appropriate. By then, both my husband and I (and our older son) had already been diagnosed with ADHD, and we’d seen how much support and treatment helped, so our pediatrician felt confident making the diagnosis.

What Helped Our Kids

Here’s what worked for us (every child is different—always trust your gut as a parent):

💊 Medication

Stimulants are effective for about 80% of kids with ADHD, while non-stimulants work about 50% of the time ([source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention]).
We started our boys on a tiny dose—0.25 mg of Ritalin once a day (sometimes twice if needed). They’ve even said, “my meds help me so much.” It’s powerful hearing your child say that.

🖐 Occupational Therapy (OT)

If I could recommend just one thing, it would be OT. The focus on sensory regulation and connecting to the body has been game-changing for us. We started both our boys in OT early on.
(If anyone finds an OT who specializes in adults with ADHD, let me know—because I would sign up in a heartbeat!)

💛 Parent Therapy

Learning the ADHD lens as a parent is so important. Our neurodivergent kiddos experience the world differently, and their behaviors reflect that. Understanding the why allows us to respond with compassion instead of frustration.

A Quick Word on Genetics

If you’re wondering about genetics—it’s estimated there’s about a 60% chance that if a child has ADHD, one of their parents does too ([source: Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder]).

So I often ask parents: “Do you think you or your child’s other parent might have ADHD?” Sometimes looking at your own experiences can be just as enlightening as looking at your child’s.

If you’re curious, you can grab my FREE ADHD Screening Toolkit. Click here to access the FREE toolkit!

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

This journey can feel overwhelming, but there are so many supports and resources out there—and I promise, it gets easier as you learn more.

If you have any questions, you can:
📩 Email me at [email protected]
🌐 Or book a call on my website

I’m deeply passionate about supporting and educating families on ADHD. You’re doing an amazing job just by being here and seeking understanding.

With warmth and encouragement,
Lindsey 💛

Want More Support Like This?
If you found this helpful, I send out occasional emails with more posts like this, upcoming workshops, and new resources for ADHDers, self-healers, and helpers.

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